Christmas Movies In Which No One Falls In Love and No One Saves Christmas

I like Christmas movies, but not the ones that focus on children or thin white people realizing they’ve found the love of their lives. Here are 10 movies I’ve enjoyed that have Christmas as a central part of the plot, but that don’t feature any of that stuff. In chronological order of release.

Black Christmas (1974)

A cult classic starring Olivia Hussey, Margot Kidder and a profoundly disturbed serial killer. Even if you don’t watch the movie, you’ve got to see this trailer. It lasts over four minutes and gives a very good idea of how creepy this movie is, ringing hall phone and all. Its tag line was, “If this movie doesn’t make your skin crawl, it’s on too tight.”

 

Trading Places (1983)

Starring Eddie Murphy at his most hilarious, Dan Ackroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis. A Christmas comedy that comes down on the anti-racist side of nurture over nature.

 

Die Hard (1988)

Just…yes.

 

Dead End (2003)

A family is driving to a celebration on Christmas Eve and takes a shortcut. Bad idea. I’d call this a quirky comedy-horror movie. It’s not the best of this bunch, but it stars character actress Lin Shaye as the mom, who is great.

 

Bad Santa (2003)

One of my favorites, starring Billy Bob Thornton, Lauren Graham, Tony Cox and Bernie Mac. It was John Ritter’s last movie which was goddamn sad, but an excellent final act. It violates every Christmas cliché and pulls off sympathy for a main character who has absolutely no Santa Claus charisma.

 

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas (2011)

Seven years after they went out for White Castle burgers and three years after they escaped from Guantanamo Bay, Harold and Kumar are in search of a Christmas tree…and stuff. Another great film if you like irreverant comedy.

 

All Is Bright (2013)

Paul Rudd and Paul Giamatti play two Canadians who try selling Christmas trees in New York City as a way to raise fast cash. There are heartwarming moments, but overall there’s minimal mush.

 

 

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

I find it incredible that this one came out two and a half years before the pandemic. It’s a British zombie movie musical (with some decent songs) and it shows a virus that tears apart families and friendships and causes everyone to wonder: do we still get to be the people we were before this started? In particular it shows high school students wondering if there’s any hope for the dreams they had before everyone started getting infected. Yeah…

 

Await Further Instructions (2018)

Christmas sci-fi horror, anyone? A family gathers on Christmas Eve with the usual tensions families often have. But by Christmas morning, the house is sealed off and the television begins broadcasting instructions like “USE TRIAL VACCINATION KITS.” Apparently this is called “seige horror” and there isn’t a Santa suit in sight.

 

A Christmas Carol (2019)

No, not that version of Christmas Carol. Or that one either. This is the FX version and you know it’s completely different when it opens on a scene of a boy urinating on a gravestone. FX returned Dickens’ tale to its origins as a ghost story. This film has horror elements, real world themes such as sexual abuse, and a view of the purgatory Marley suffers unless he can convince Scrooge to mend his ways. It’s also unencumbered by the usual exuberant ending and I call it the Black Mirror version of A Christmas Carol.

There they are: the 10 Christmas movies I recommend for people who want to embrace the holiday without the gooey sweetness. Please comment if you watch any of these or if you have a movie to add.

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