If any friends or family follow this blog as a way of seeing how I’m doing, I’m fine. I can’t explain the four-month gap between posts except that maybe I didn’t feel like blogging because I felt okay. I blog more when I’m unhappy, I think. Maybe that’s typical of bloggers.
I dreamt the other night that I was telling someone that my life was extremely dull, and in the dream it was. I did the exact same thing every day with no pleasure at all. When I woke up I felt relieved that my life isn’t really like that. I take pleasure in seeing friends, hobbies such as reading novels and hosting parties, and interacting with people at the coworking space I manage. I mildly enjoy the work I do. I wouldn’t say my life is intolerably dull.
But there’s not a lot going on either. In fact, I can see the rut coming up ahead. I recently added a second business to my attempts to earn a living. I call it Content Conductor and through it I help small businesses and entrepreneurs with their content. I write blog posts, post to social media, do research, edit and proofread. These are tasks I enjoy because I’m an extremely detail-oriented person who hates mistakes. And I particularly detest mistakes with words. (Please tell me if you ever see any mistakes or typos in my posts on this blog!)
My heart is really much more with Welcome Dialogue, my American culture coaching business (UPDATE 3/6/20: that business is no longer), but that has yet to bring in much income. It seems easier to find clients who want to pay me for content work they can do themselves, but just don’t want to. Isn’t that how it goes? People are willing to pay others for things they can very well do themselves, but just don’t feel like doing.
Without depression pulling me down, I go along through my days. I do some work, I manage the coworking space, I read a book, I get some sleep. I see friends and host events in my home. Blah, blah, blah.
I guess I’m bored. I’m bored with my life. I don’t know if I’ve felt this way very much. What has plagued me in the past has been depression, or too much drama in my personal relationships, or big challenges I just can’t get through. Well, I still have those challenges, but now they bore me, too (money, weight, whatever). So I’m just bored.
I’m even bored writing this post! It’s hard to believe anyone will read it all the way through. Maybe it would be better to go back to not posting.