Feeling lonely and isolated? Who isn’t! It’s easy to feel all alone these days, especially those of us who live alone. Maybe you wish you could make some new friends, but have no idea how to do that when we’re all isolating. Well, here are some ideas and you can adjust these for making friends even when we’re past the coronavirus shutdown.
Facebook and Twitter?
NO. I’m talking about real life friends you have live conversations with and eventually meet face-to-face. So forget Facebook, Twitter and all the rest of it.
Start with your neighbors
The moment to knock on doors and introduce yourself is past, so create a note you’ll duplicate and tape to doors or mailboxes. For example, if you’re in an apartment, it might say: Hi. I live in apartment 3N and I’m reaching out to everyone in the building. Since we’re all shut in these days, I thought I’d see if we can make connections and help each other out. I figure some of us have cars and some don’t, some of us go out to a job regularly, others stay in. I’d like to build a contact info list for us. We can check in on each other, offer to get things from the store, etc. If you’d like to participate, please email me at XXXX or text me at XXXX. I’ll get a list together and share all our contact info. At the very least, we won’t feel as alone!
Tailor this note so it’s appropriate for you.
Best case scenario: You email or text your neighbors to see how they are, figure out who feels like they could be a friend and give them a little more attention to get to know them better. If they respond positively, you’re on your way to making a new friend. At some point you can move that friendship to a phone call or FaceTime chat, etc. In the meantime, your neighbors develop a community of people who know each other’s names and who can rely on each other. That will feel good even when we can all see each other in person without masks.
Worst case scenario: They think you’re a big loser. Get over it. (It’s also extremely unlikely they’ll ALL think this.) Another problem could be maybe everyone has your personal contact info and you get email or texts you don’t want. So you know what? You unsubscribe or write back with “Remove” in the subject line or block the number. The end. If you really feel horrified by the idea of giving out your info, even to people who live right near you, this strategy isn’t for you.
Join a Club
This is the same as during normal times, but it happens online. There are many clubs and organizations that meet online now and it’s just a matter of finding ones that sound interesting. Meetup.com remains an excellent place to find clubs on whatever topic interests you, from knitting to politics to meditation. I run a Stephen King book club and a depression support group. The benefit of meeting online is that you can talk to people from far away. But if you want to make friends with people you’ll eventually be real life friends with, focus on clubs in your area (my area is Chicago).
Ideally as you attend meetings, you’ll identify people who you’d like to get to know better. Between meetings, contact them to engage them on the topic of the meeting (Hi. I was on the last book club Zoom call with you. Have you started reading the next book yet? I just noticed how long it is. Not that I don’t have the time right now. Did you say you’d read it before?) You can message people through the Meetup.com app and website.
Best case scenario: Those messages about the club evolve into a texting/Zooming/etc. friendship. Then after the shutdown is over, you’ll have in-person meetings to go to and a friend or two you can meet for face-to-face coffee.
Worst case scenario: They think you’re a big loser. Get over it.
Reach out to creators
There’s a lot of blogging going on right now, along with article writing, video making, music production, etc. If you’re following someone, there’s probably a way to contact them published at the bottom of their articles, in their YouTube notes, on their homepage, and such. Send them a note about how their content affected you. Content creators love feedback.
Best case scenario: They write back and start a dialogue.
Worse case scenario: They’re too busy to write back, but I guarantee you they will NOT think you’re a loser. Content creators appreciate everyone who pays attention to our stuff.
Try one of these ideas and let me know how it goes! Do you have ideas? Tell me in the comments.
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