Disclaimer: since I’ve become properly obese, I re-read these old posts and see my body dysmorphia and obsession with food and weight. It’s sad to me now.
I have heard from someone I haven’t seen since we graduated from high school together (he found me through my blog). We’ve sent back and forth the usual information about work, career and family. Of course he’s married and I’m not. Of course he has a respectable job where he’s been for more than a year, which I’m not. But the most disturbing thing is that he says he wears the same clothing size he wore in high school. Of how many people is this true?
My friend Robert, the New York jazz pianist, also says he’s about the same size he was when he graduated from high school. I’m further disturbed to know that high school graduation weight is the ideal maintained by medical research that shows that women who have gained a certain amount of weight (can’t remember the details) since age 18 have a higher risk of breast cancer. Horrifyingly, we are not supposed to gain any weight after we graduate from high school.
It’s horrifying for me because when I graduated from high school I was 5’3″ and weighed 105 pounds. A hundred and five pounds. It takes all my exercising and dieting efforts to keep my weight close to 120 pounds, but really I should be aiming for 105 pounds? In order for me to do what it takes to get my weight down to 105, I’d have to lose muscle as well as fat. Maybe even bone. Jesus, I’m 40 years old and 5’2″ and on a really good day I weigh between 120 and 123, but really I should be aiming for 105? Really?
But I guess the answer is yes because my friends have managed to keep their weights down to high school levels. Why? How? Is it a guy thing? What should I do?
(At the age of 18 I also wore a size 5, and I’m talking 1984 sizes, not the bloated sizes we indulge in today. These days I think I’d need surgery to fit into a 1984 size 5 pair of jeans.)